Weddings, Babies and Houses...

Im not sure why, but since I have been in coupledom, I have been invited to more weddings than I have ever known,. I guess this is because Richard has mainly straight friends, where as most of mine seem to be of the bent variety. And if my friends are not shit stabbers or girls drinking from the furry mug, they are the emotional fuckwits that we have come to know and love in this modern day world. Thinking about it, some are both! Dont get me wrong, I have a few close friends but Im talking in general. Are these people I am meant to have things in common with? I hope not! I like the fact that most of Richards friends are normal. I say most of because I know that Mark Harris slipped through the net and I regard him as a vile prick that smokes too much! Anyway, back to weddings! I think my fave this year will possibly be Richs mate Matt and Danni. Im quite looking forward to that one as we will get to stay over in Anglesey for a night and it will be with quite a few people who I know! :-)

Donna Donut is due to give birth not so long from now.. The last time I saw her she was getting rather big in bumpage. It will be strange seeing Kev, Don and Mini Donut.. It seems like only a few days ago when I was holding My sisters hand as she gave birth to my neice Jaya. I use the term "holding" very loosely.. If I was to say gripping as if my life depended on it you would call me a drama queen. All good memories though.. The screaming, the stiches, the afterbirth...booodiful.. It is worth every second of it though for what you get out of it though as Im sure Beverley and any other mother out there will agree. Jaya is the closest I will ever get to having my own kid and I love her to bits. It is her first birthday on August 30th. Very handy that it comes just after pay day but very selfish of Beverley to conceive on a date where she knew she would be giving birth sometime around her very own birthday (only 2 days later!)

I think as we all get older, whether we are gay or straight, we seem to have things dawn on us. Lately for me it has been that Im never getting married (noone would have me), Im never having kids (Dont think my sea-men would be interested in anchoring at the harbour if you know what I mean?!) and I may never get to own my own house. The house thing is a biggy for me. A mixture of a few shitty decisions made by me when I was 18-19 and naive stupidity of thinking that me and my ex would be together forever got me in a financial ditch. When I say ditch I mean more of a big fat smelly fucking mess. But then again, even if I could get a mortgage, which I probably could if I had the right kind of deposit, what would happen to my mum? She cant afford to get her own place at the moment and what kind of a son would I be to see her struggle?

I sometimes feel like I may have fucked my life up before it ever really began. God only knows what damage I will do when I have a mid life crisis! I shouldnt moan because I have a hell of a lot more than most. Im just always thinking to the future and with my situation, I dont see where that leads except right back to where I am now. It would just be nice to get a chance to dig my heels in again and be given another chance to right my wrongs. After all, I worked my tits off to get the job that I have now and Im proud to have achieved it. Some things are not that easy though are they as they are taken out of our hands?? We only get one chance which is unfortunate. Ill fight until the end though. I always have.. So get your fists up for round two, bitches!

Take care until next post..

If any of you have a PSP or any kind of games console, take a look here for some bargains on selected games! Just do a search as you never know what you will find! Some seem to be stupidly cheap though! I know Richard got Lemmings and Micro Machines V4 for PSP for around 30 pound for both of them incl delivery. A bargain as they retail at around 30 each! Go one step further and join greasypalm beforehand and earn cashback on purchases from a large range of online stores.. just from shopping online occasionally, Ive had two cheques for £25.00 off them so far and I dont even remember to use it half of the time!