Change of path..

Ive started to read a few more blogs recently. I will, when I get time, put them into my favourite links so that you can all have a read. However, through reading a number I have found that:-

A.) My english is terrible
B.) Im not funny (I know most could have told me this when I first started but realisation has just set in.)
C.) There is so much to blog about!

I have also noticed that there are so many people that post and then have to change their site due to someone finding the site who maybe shouldnt know about it. (probably someone they have bitched about for the last 18 months.) I did the same with my old site www.phoenix2k.blogspot.com. I really loved that blog, but after finding that someone was reading it and making not-so-nice comments, I moved it. Even when I started this blog, I started by naming someone who I was having a bit of difficulty with at work. (Im a slow learner.) Low and behold, I found about 9 months later that someone had given them access to my site. I spent what felt like a lifetime tracing through every line in my ramblings finding any references to the name and comments and altered them accordingly. Even though at the time I meant every word I typed, things had got marginley better with us by then and, contrary to popular belief, I wouldnt hurt anyones feelings for the world.

I cant bitch as much as I used to and certainly not about specific people or situations. This is because that although not many people visit on a daily basis, I know that there are a lot of people that have access if they are ever REALLY bored. This is good as it gives me chance to try and think of interesting and topical things to blog about. That is, when I havent got brain rot.

If you had not been able to tell, Im struggling.

xx

Herbalife...Day 2...

Im on the second day of my herbalife plan. Seeing as all I had between 6am and 6pm yesterday was 2 milkshakes that tasted like shite, it filled my tummy more than I thought it would have done! However, what noone told me was that I was going to be peeing flourescent green. Dont get me wrong, I like it a spot of colour here and there but I usually like to keep it in the clothes I wear or the colour I paint my walls. hey ho, I suppose it can be my party trick!

Weigh in on week one was 11 stone 13 on the fat fighter scales at work. I will let all know how my first week goes on Friday.... :-)
xx

Just testing something..

Technorati Profile

STOP WHINING!!!!

I got bored at work this week and did a little experiment. In my job role, I get calls logged for me and then have to ring out and sort a problem. The people I speak to are usually customers or a staff member throughout the network that are having issues with their IT hardware or software.

I asked every person that I spoke to how they were. Just something I would use to build up a bit of rapport. When asked myself, I always just give a polite "I am fine thank you, how are you?" and stupidly thought that I would get the same back. Yesterday I was dying (man flu, no less!) and I STILL told everyone that I spoke to that I was fine. Why does that seem to be too much to ask of 90% of people out there. I had everything from:-

"No." (what do you say to that?? "oh..*awkward silence*..Ermmm...")
"I would be if this f**king system would work" ("oh right then.. ok...")
"Well yes.. BUT..." (*listening noises as they wah wah wah*)
"Well.. You know..." (no, I dont know.. but I have a feeling your going to tell me!!!)

And unfortunately very few of the pleasant:-

"I am great thank you.. AMAZING in fact!!"

*Just for future reference? I dont really care how you are. I dont know you from Adam and I am certain to never meet you. I ask because I am a nice person. I expect you to say you are fine. I dont want to hear about your warts or your wife having an affair. If you need the number to the samaritans then I am here but otherwise lets get on with the conversation!!!!!*

Legs 11..

Got to keep it short but.. My daughter appears to have sprouted legs. When I say legs, they are no longer the stumpy things that were on her yesterday.. They are legs that would put a catwalk model to shame. Im not sure who put them there but if they could swap them back then I would be very grateful. I tried to pop her in my dressing gown this morning (see photo below) and nearly crippled her because I couldnt bend her trotters in... Im beginning to think that maybe she is not 100% chorkie.. (dont tell her as she will never know!) I have three choices now:-

1. Practise my lumberjacking skills now for when she is the size of a giraffe so that I can heave her over my shoulder and carry her everywhere so that she can be treated like the "pocket sized" pooch that I wanted.
2. Get a metal file and sand the buggers down...
3. Pimp her out for modelling shows.. She would knock Kate Moss off the catwalk and make me millions!
4. Flog her onwards to some unsuspecting person as an alsation...

Its only me that could pay £400.00 for a "designer dog" and end up with a frigging mixture of every breed available in doggy land! I shall call her a "wotshamacallit" and we will make millions off breeding them!

x

Married couple...and what diet to follow??

This photo makes me laugh. We look just like an old married couple! I will have to get a photo of her in her snazzy new colar when I can! :-D

I have a dilemma. Im not sure what diet to go on. I had the choice of the weightwatchers diet but it will never work.. I eat everything and say im incorporating it into my points. I then have a months worth of points in a week and say its ok because Ill spread them over the year and so on... So ive seen the Herbalife diet or the slim fast plan. Both are attractive for the same reason. I cannot fool myself into thinking im sticking to a diet when im not. If im only allowed to have a can of something then I cant really go wrong can I?! (of course I can!) Slim fast worked once for me before but when looking online its become a bit more flexible by the looks of things.. You know the type of thing.. a snack here, a slim fast bar there... It could make it a little bit easier for me to cheat and I dont really want that because a snack of an apple will turn into a snack of chicken tikka massala! I will be getting more info on herbalife tomorrow from one of the directors at work and she will also be letting me have a taste of it (ive heard its gross where as slim fasts are yummy!) Apparantly, herbalife is meant to improve everything from weight loss to skin condition to hair renewal! (OH YEAH BABY!! SOLD!!) Unfortunately though, it is just a little bit expensive so I will have to see just how much it could end costing me before making a decision!

Will keep you updated. :-)

xxx

xx

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Lily in dressing gown pocket...

A little update...

Hi Guys and Gals!
Hope that you have missed me as much as I have missed you! (That’s lots and lots, just in case you were wondering!) I cannot believe how quickly this year is going already. I go to Dominican Republic for my sisters wedding in only 5 months! I know that it sounds way off at the moment but time flies and I’m sure that in no time at all Ill be jetting off to lands far away!

A lot has happened this year that I haven’t even mentioned yet including:-

1.) It was my 2 year anniversary with Richard on 9th January. We bought each other little presents and went for a lovely meal last week!)
2.) We had a wedding to go to the other week with friends. They were on the front page in the local paper for having 7 best men! 7!! The greed of it! It was a good night though and I was suitably pished to say the least…However, I found out around bar closing time that I knew someone behind the bar and could have had free drinks all night! D’oh! Still managed to get four out of him though! :-D
3.) Richard and I had baby Lily… ok.. I have mentioned this but the quiet, shy little girl has now transformed in to a super hyperactive mongalatron!!

It’s official. I have stopped going to the gym. It never did much apart from:-

A.) Gave me an excuse to eat more on the nights that I did go.
B.) Give me the right to say on any questionnaires that “gym” was a hobby of mine.
C.) Empty my pocket 40 English pound a month.

Ill be glad to be rid of it... And so will my little fat legs!

The diet has begun for the wedding abroad. I have about 10 pound to lose… this is so I can go away and eat like an animal! Think Ill probably panic around April-ish and scoot myself off to a concentration camp somewhere for a week or three!

I don’t know whether I’ve stopped doing “things” but all of a sudden I seem to have much more surplus money than I did a few months ago. I used to have a little spreadsheet that gave me my spending power a month and I used to make sure that week in, week out, I would spend all that I had allocated on my chosen items... (Example: - 100 pound a month for a new clothing... Even if I was going nowhere, I would buy something just for the hell of it! £50.00 a week for a night out… If I didn’t go out Id blow it on ANYTHING!) But now I have stopped doing it, I am finding myself having a very small amount surplus a month. Not going to complain. It’s great! Just wonder how long it will last! :-)

Me and the sidekick went to Trentham Gardens today to get Lily some treats. Ended up with:-

Pink leather collar (has I love you encrusted in genuine Swarovski crystal!)
Pink lead for when she goes walkies
Pink “little monster” hoodie so she can be a rebel when she a bit bigger... Doesn’t fit yet!
2 cupcakes, a cream roll and an iced gingerbread… Imported from America made in a doggy bakery especially for doggies!!

I was buzzing around the shop like a tasmanian devil while Rich looked on grudgingly… He stopped me when I suggested the bumble bee outfit…

Tut…

xx

Email to Pronuptia Stoke On Trent

Good Morning,
I just wanted to put into words how disappointed I was with one of your staff members yesterday, Saturday 13th January 2007. I had been shopping all day with my sister looking for a wedding dress for her big day in June. Me and my sister are about as close as a sister and brother can get and she wanted me with her to help choose that special dress.

Every shop that we went in helped create a wedding illusion in their own way. Some offered us ribbons to pop over dresses that my sister fell in love with and others offered their much needed guidance on what kind of things would suit her. We had a brilliant day, much contributed by the humour and expertise of the dress specialists.

When we arrived at Pronuptia, straight away I got excited. Out of all of the shops we had visited, you appeared to have the largest selection and I started getting stuck in, searching through that special dress that would bring me to tears and make my sisters wedding complete. It was when I was looking at a dress through one end of the shop that I was abruptly told by an elderly blonde lady that there were changing rooms, and to sit down. When I say she was rude, I mean rude to the point of attracting the attention of others nearby (one other male looking through dresses nonetheless!) who commented on her behaviour.

A few things that I should point out at this stage:-

1.) I am gay, I have about as much interest in your bridal rumps as your elderly blonde fitter does.
2.) I had no ideas that there were changing rooms BOTH sides of your shop and certainly did not see them when facing away from them looking through dresses.
3.) At 22 years of age, to be scolded and made to feel like either a pervert or 10 year old (I cant quite figure out which one she was getting at) I am absolutely appalled.
4.) There were other men in there, looking through dresses with their future brides/friends/SISTERS but perhaps because they were balding middle aged men, you thought them less of a threat to your brides??
5.) Why I was told to sit down and not able to even look through the wedding dresses that were in the middle of the two ridiculously placed changing rooms is beyond me. Other men were dotted about the shop.

In the end, my sister told me to “stand up and help me look for gods sake” as I was trying to point out dresses from sitting down. I did do but by then we were all too fuming and humiliated to give your staff and shop the time of day. On our way out a lady was walking up the stairs and my sister, who was now so upset she was verging on tears, told her that they should close off the dressing rooms if you do not want men in there. We were told that they would make an exception for me but it was too late, the damage had been done. She thought that this was the lady who had told me to sit down (and be a good boy) but it was not. I apologise to this lady because she got the brunt of our anger.

Many suggestions have gone through all of our minds as to why I was persecuted in this way right from the age I look (most say 24+ sadly..) right through to what I was wearing on the day. However, we come back to the same conclusion. Your sales assistant was the only one out of around 8 shops that we visited that gave us the attitude.

It is maybe silly how your staff and their rudeness very nearly ruined our day. But, to say that would be the understatement of the century. However, I want to point out that we did dare to go one more shop after we had been to Pronuptia. It is a shop in Newcastle called Confetti owned by twin ladies. We were offered an apology on entering because appointments should be made so that they could offer their undivided attention to us. However, they did tell us that we could browse and if an appointment was needed, we could make one. While my sister started looking for a dress, I was chatting away to them and they were telling me some background about themselves and their company. I felt at this point that a rapport had been built and virtually straight away we saw a beautiful dress. They had 3 different parties that were trying on outfits but they did tell us that my sister could try on a dress so that she could get an idea of what it would look like. During this time we were given undivided attention and she ended up trying on 2, 1 of which is perfect. We were offered more but we were pretty sure that the “chosen one” was unbeatable. My sisters friend, the maid of honour tried on 3 dresses. In all, we found a wedding dress, a maid of honour dress and a bridesmaid that we fell in love with. (I got the tears!!) They treated us all like one of the family and clearly knew what they were talking about. We are going shopping once again for the dresses through this week as we want to have covered every angle. However, unfortunately we will not be returning to Pronuptia.

I want to stress, and Im sure that my sister would agree that if we had seen the exact same dress at your shop with the attitude of the staff we encountered, I am pretty sure that my sister would have paid more for it from confetti purely based on the service that we experienced.

To give you an idea, my sister was given a 3000 pound limit for her bridal outfit, not including bridesmaids or the maid of honour. This is now money that will not pass your hands.

Please, please pass on my comments to those concerned and remind your staff that you are there to make someones special day. Not break it.

Kindest Regards
Adrian Williams

Problem solved!!

I dont know what I typed earlier.. I am pooking knackered.. Its this parenting business.. tiring me out!! Anyway, if I wah'd about Lily maybe not been a full cross breed constantly, then I finally found a chorkie that I think she will look like when shes older. Im 100% shes a real fake breed now! :-D

http://chorkie.tripod.com/

xx

What to say what to say..

I had so much that I wanted to waffle about today. I was going to amaze and astound you with my wit and humour.. and now im putting fingers to keys.. its gone.. I have nothing to say and no time to say it because im about to run out of battery on my laptop.

Took Lily for her first injection today. Vet said very possible she a chorkie but she looks like she could have a bit of jack russell in her. She is worth £400.00 and more but if I could have got one of her for fre-ish from RSPCA then I aint going to be impressed... Bloody bloody bastards...

And if she grows stilts, that is where the humour will end!!!
xx

Awww..

Staffordshire- January 8th 2007- The announcement of a baby girl…

I would like to introduce everyone to Lily Rosey Swain-Williams (double barrelled because shes posh)

She is a chorkie. We *hope* a yorky crossed with a chihauhua. I say hope because there is no proof and she is looking very tiny alsation crossed with tiny rotweiler-ish at the moment! Luckily she seems to have pulled the best features from the yorky and chihauhau breeds and has not got huge eyes or ears! She is very teeny tiny and absolutely gorgeous… It is however, becoming clear that she has her mummies nose and her daddies toilet habits. She cost us £400.00 and all of family are coping well… Her birth date was 3rd November 2006.

She has kept us awake all night with a bad tummy but is already semi toilet trained and tries to aim for her “pee-poo mat” wherever possible. I can honestly say that last night is the most honest day of parenting I have ever done! Reflecting this, if anyone comes within 100 metres vicinity today, prepare to be slaughtered.

Christening to be announced..

The above will also be posted on to my blog and into all reputable national press (none)

Take care all and hope you like the piccie!

New Years Resolutions..

I, A-Drain, hereby commit to the below new years resolutions:-

1. Lose 7 stone
2. Spoil myself to at least 1 bottle of aftershave a week
3. Sleep with a different man every day of every week except on Sundays when Im at church
4. Go to church at least once a week
5. Grow my hair into pigtails
6. Give up alcohol
7. Win the jackpot on the lottery...(twice is a bonus)

Well, theres as much chance in me sticking to the above as there would have been sticking to any other new years resolutions I set!

Happy new year everyone... Hope you all had a good one. I had a great night. Didnt enjoy the singing but the disco was great. Take care and I promise to write soon xx

:-)

xxx
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