Doggy Specs??

My dogs nose is getting bigger by the day. We now think she has quite a bit of English Bull terrier in her (shame..) I was looking at her a couple of days back and I am convinced that a pair of nice doggy spectacles would suit her. She squints a lot too... Just a random thought.. Does any1 know if you can get a doggies eyes tested.. and if so does anyone know of a retailer for CK specs for her?! xx

Who would you be??

If you could be anyone in the world, who would you be?

The first suggestion I came up with was David Beckham, but if the game that I am thinking of means that you really have to take his life over completely, would I really want to deal with a wife and 3 kids?? Answer:- After locking myself in a room and doing wild and wonderous things to myself, I would rather have someone stick a cactus up my cake hole than go back to reality with a missus and pack of spuds!

If I had to live in the life of someone, I guess they would have to be either gay or have the potential to come out as big puffter... I would not want a wife nor children and not too much of a string of girlfriends as this may affect my coming out process. I would no older than 32 and I would need to be adored by at least 90% of the population. I would earn plenty of money and not have a history of drugs (there goes robbie) or violence (Colin Farrell is out) as these things always come back to haunt you in the media..

Eventually, I could not think of anyones life that fitted the whole of the above criteria who it would be interesting to stand in the shoes of..

I wonder what people like David Beckham worry about? I worry about going bald, about my wonky teeth, about my horrid dry skin that gets worse by the day, about piling on the pounds, about getting on to the property ladder, about been able to afford a nice holiday once a year, about whether people like me or not..... But what do you worry about when you have everything.. the looks, the wealth, the popularity? Thats another post altogether..

It would appear that I have got too much time on my hands..

Break through..

We have had doggie deposits outside! Only wee so far but still very good!!

Im saving the fireworks for a poosie!!

xx

Charge me WHAT??

Princess poopy drawers (Christened Lilly and "Oi! Stop it..") has been slowly but surely eating her way through my phone charger. She finally reached her goal a couple of days back and every time Ive tried to charge my phone, it emits a high pitched "eeeeeeeee" noise. I was holding out for her having another nash at it and it sending her flying across the room but I figured that, already have 17 cases open with the RSPCA, it may not been good to be known as a doggy serial killer.. so Tricky asked me if I wanted him to get a new one from a mobile shop across from his work yesterday. "Yes" I said. What I meant (and what he should have known, been my betrothed and the one who should know what I am thinking every minute of every day) was that if the price of it was anymore than £7.99 then not to bother as I had seen it cheaper online. £15.00... £15.00!!!! is what it has ended up costing me. I did a quick froogle on the chargers, just so I could have even more of a moan at him than I was going to in the first place, and found that I could have bought one for £2.99 with postage. What a cold hard slap in the balls!! To make matters worse, when he brought me the "should be gold plated" charger, it was not even a genuine Sony one! Insult to injury? Say no more.

Now it is sitting here looking at me, I am not sure whether to:-

a.) Frame it. (Would need big frame.. Will cost more money)
B.) Buy a safe for it to go in. (Safe would take up room.. Will cost more money)
C.) My final choice and by far the most sensible - When I have guests, I will simply somehow encorporate it into a party piece thus making it worth the fifteen english pounds.... I now just need to google "1000 party tricks for mobile phone chargers.."

This may be the closest I have come to divorce..;
xx

Last day..

I feel as though I have been violated..

I would like to post and say that my last day on the IT Support Centre at work was a nice quiet day where I didn’t do much work and just mingled with my colleagues and ate my way through a pile of cake and pastries.

Wishful thinking.

I have had the worst week in IT to date and today rounded off a shitty week au perfecto. I think every server in the network has been down at some point resulting in a different surprise for us on the helpdesk each time one dies! The snow has not helped matters at all as severe weather sent our email server down for half of the day. The funny thing about it is that when the mail server came back up, I found that people had been emailing us telling us their email was not working…. These are the people I have to help on a daily basis… Say no more.. Where was I? Oh yeah, the snow… If one more person walks past me singing “frosty the snowman” they are likely to get cream crackered! I tried to relieve myself by looking to the future at my shift rota for IT operations and it only brought on more torment and harassment. I appear to be on a 2pm-10pm shift and a 10pm-6am on the same week sometime in March. I have always volunteered overtime but either they have made a typo or two or they think Ill be bringing my sleeping bag!

I would refer to my little manual of stress had I not ripped the useless piece of rubbish up in temper… It asked me to.. wait for it.. try and find my peripheral vision (trying to find something that is impossible to find will calm me so they say..) I found that it tended to wind me up more as I could not find what they were wanting me to find and so added it to the list of “things I cannot do today”

Ill see what happens next week. Ill be the one under the desk with fingers in my ears humming…

Heres to the weekend and all who sail in her! Yayyyy!!

xx

Dowgie doings..

Just a random question.. How do I get my doggy to poo outside? It took some time and a lot of treats to get her doing her business on the puppy mats and not on my carpet but I am now looking to take her skills to another level. Every day, she is going for walkies and I am shoving her into every lamp post, tree, and fire hydrant that I come across, hoping that she will get the hint that she is meant to be following suit of the bigger doggies. Oh, but she is a defiant bitch! She is managing to hold anything she has brewing in until we get back inside where she will run to her mat and pee, thus getting her a well deserved treat. I could hold out on the treating when business is done inside on her mat but I do fear that then she will seek revenge and make a mess on my bed or somewhere equally distressing.

I am holding out for the first wee or poosie done outside and carry with me at all times, a handful of treats (good girl!), a fragranced black bag, (remove any evidence) and a party popper (Celebrate), but I fear that it could be later rather than sooner judging by the rate she is going…

Will keep you updated.

Have I mentioned that our shiny new offices at work have brand spanking new air conditioning.. No? Oh, well.. our shiny new offices at work? They have got brand spanking new air conditioning! So, Now you know.
Oh it is great though. I now work throughout the day and am neither hot, nor cold. I cannot complain of a chill nor a hot flush at any point during the day because trusty old Mr Con ensures I am top notch 24/7. Dont get me wrong, It was good that I could no longer moan about the temperature in the office.. but it was bad in that, Well… I had not much else to moan about. (except the size of Cadburys crème eggs… They have sooooo shrunk since I were a lad!)

Anyway, between a few of us at work, we have decided to throw a big fat spanner into the works. Since moving to the office featuring the really good but, as it turns out, not all that marvellous “air con”, my skin has resembled that of a snake (mid-shed..) It is traumatising enough that I am a 22 year old that is rapidly losing his hair and has premature ageing brought on by thrashing sun beds through adolescence, without putting up with a skin condition on top of it all! At first I put it down to my rhino-like skin having got used to my L’oreal men expert cream but after trying various moisturisors/face peels/exfoliators/saunas/blow torches etc I am still having the same issues. For the last two Saturdays, I have visited a sauna and my skin has been great for the rest of the weekend each week. I then go to work on a Monday, come home, go bed and wake up on the Tuesday morning and, minding my own business, look in the bathroom mirror to see something that looks like a character from night of the living dead staring back at me. Can you remember the glue at school that you used to peel off your hands? Its like someone has painted my face in that during the night for a laugh and then ran off.. I am not entirely convinced that this person is not my betrothed invoking revenge for all the hassle I give him throughout the day.. I will be sleeping with one eye open....

So, Ive signed the petition..A petition for what, I dont know. It turns out that a lot more people are having skin irritations though. What we expect work to do about it though, I know not.. I am not the one who holds the solutions but the one who creates the problems...

Wat a day!!

I am addicted to an online game at the moment. Everyone seems to be raving about World of Warcraft and suchlike. I agree that they are meant to be great games to play. Unfortunately, I get headaches with all these new 3D games if I play them too much…(I feel old saying that..) I prefer games from when I were a lad .. (Feeling older…Never thought I would say "when I were a lad…") Super Mario and Wonder Boy…Back in the olden days….(Ok..…ENOUGH!!) Soooo, after searching for a MMORPG game, I have found myself playing Maple Story . Yes, it is predominantly for people aged 8-15 years… But it is *free* and it is actually a really good game! I say *free* because you have got the choice of upgrading your characters appearance in loads of different ways. These do not change the characters ability BUT it makes you look fab. I have paid to upgrade my character…several times…Its only a few pound each time. Unfortunately, I made him look a little bit like a lesbian so I then had to pay to change him. I will try to add a photo of what he looks like now I have changed him (a lil bit like a lady boi so Im told) Yes, I know it is sad but when I have a bunch of 8 year olds kicking my ass, the least I can do is be wearing rare drabs when they do it! ..) People say a waste of money but its not bad when you consider you can spent 60 quid on a night out which only gives only a couple of hours of pleasure with a whacking hangover the morning after!

This reminds me.. I want a wee wii . They don't seem to be "3d"… Think they are still sold out but a couple of people at work had one and are raving about them.. Fun exercise.. I like the sound of that!

Oh, Im doing well on the diet.. I lost 7 6 5 4 pound yesterday according to the scales at work.. This caused for celebration.. I went the cinema and had a diet coke (forgot that im not meant to have ANY fizzies- slows your motabalism don't u know) with a small medium popcorn with tricky.. I didn't eat half of it though.. (I ate ¾… ) I got home and had a small medium large pizza with some healthy chicken wings followed by a two Cadburys cream eggs and a yorkie (they aren't for girls you know..)

If anyone walks past me today smelling remotely of food, there may be an ambush.. (the woman who smells of cabbage in the office close to mine better watch out!!)

Gotta go, my herbalife milkshake is giving me evils…

I have linked quite a few key words here and am going to from now on.... Have a click…Not for the faint hearted… ;-)

Quick question.. Does ANYONE know how to do the strike through on words without having to type the command before it and after it?! Im sure there is a way but Ill be damned if I have a pretty icon that tells me!! :(